Let’s talk about something that stings a little: getting ghosted.
You meet someone new. You vibe. The energy’s great. Maybe it’s a friend, a date, or even a potential client. Then… silence. No explanation. No closure. Just gone.
And here you are again—replaying every message, wondering, “Did I do something wrong?”
But what if I told you it’s not always about them disappearing—it’s about why you keep attracting people who do?
If you’ve been ghosted more than once, and you’re someone who struggles with people-pleasing, then it’s time to face the truth.
There are 3 lies people-pleasers believe—and until you break free from them, ghosting will keep following you like a shadow.
Lie #1: “If I’m nice enough, they’ll stay.”
Let’s be honest. Most of us were raised to be “nice.” But nice isn’t the same as real.
People-pleasers think that the more agreeable, flexible, and generous they are, the more lovable they become. So you overextend. You say yes when you mean no. You avoid confrontation at all costs.
Here’s the truth: people don’t ghost the ones who are honest and real with them—they ghost the ones they don’t feel emotionally connected to.
Being overly agreeable doesn’t build connection—it creates imbalance. You’re giving, giving, giving… but is any of it truly you?
Break the lie: Learn to say no. Show your opinions. Set small boundaries. Your real self is what builds real connection.
Lie #2: “I can control how they feel about me.”
This one’s heavy. People-pleasers believe that if they just do everything right, they’ll never be rejected.
But people aren’t math problems. They’re complex, unpredictable, and carrying their own baggage.
You could be the most thoughtful person in the room—but if someone is emotionally unavailable, avoidant, or simply not ready—they will still ghost you. And it’s not your fault.
Break the lie: Release the idea that it’s your job to manage other people’s emotions. Focus on your own emotional honesty and let others meet you halfway—or not at all.
Lie #3: “If I lose them, I lose my worth.”
Here’s where it gets real.
People-pleasers tie their self-worth to whether people approve of them or stick around. When someone ghosts them, it feels like personal failure.
But the truth is this: You don’t lose value just because someone walks away.
You don’t have to earn love, approval, or loyalty. The moment you start chasing those things, you’ve already abandoned yourself.
Break the lie: Ground your self-worth in who you are—not how others treat you. Let ghosting reveal what’s not aligned for your future, instead of taking it as a reflection of your worth.
How to Stop Getting Ghosted (for Real)
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: people don’t ghost people they respect. They ghost when there are no consequences, no boundaries, and no authentic presence on the other side.
If you keep getting ghosted:
- Stop over-explaining.
- Stop shrinking to fit.
- Stop waiting for closure that’s never coming.
Start communicating clearly. Start showing your edges. Start choosing yourself—even if it means walking away first.
When you stop fearing rejection, you stop attracting the kind of people who dish it out.
Final Thought
Ghosting is a symptom, not the disease. The deeper issue is emotional self-abandonment.
So the next time someone disappears on you, ask yourself: “Where have I been ghosting myself to keep someone else comfortable?”
The cure starts with showing up for you—fully, honestly, unapologetically.
Because when you do that, you don’t chase love.
You attract respect.